Elegant Slacker Newsletter v.2
As the sun sets on another slack-filled week, we bid you holiday tidings here at Elegant Slacker. Our readership continues to grow despite the busy season. For this support, we are truly thankful and rejoice for a prosperous 2006. This year end issue we'll give you some Performance Review tips in addition to our normal array of slacker goodies. Sit back, relax and enjoy the slack.
Elegant Slacker Vocabulary Words for the Week
Each week the editorial staff meets for several hours and pours over the ever expanding potpourri of nouns, verbs, adjectives, etc. the English language offers. The voting process was voted to be too rigorous and highly inefficient. With that in mind, we turned to a FIFO method for words of the week. Here are the words for this week:
Word 1: Posit (noun or verb)
Meaning (noun): a proposition that is accepted as true in order to provide a basis for logical reasoning; postulate
Meaning (verb): put (something somewhere) firmly; 2: put before; submit; state; put forward; 3: take as a given; assume as a postulate or axiom
Example usage (noun): Your posit that all men are created equal is clearly flawed.
Example usage (verb): Once we posit ourselves as the supplier of choice, we can increase our profits through exploitive behaviour. I posit we improve our revenue stream by Q3.
Notes: When disagreeing with someone, the Elegant Slacker should never use negative contrary words. Typically the Elegant Slacker will suggest an alternative, hopefully one with high slack potential, and can use "posit" to help present the idea, no matter how half baked, in a manner that will garnish the most impressive nods. Word 2: Leverage (noun or verb)
Meaning (noun): strategic advantage; power to act effectively
Meaning (verb): supplement or provide with leverage
Example usage (noun): The leverage we gained through our jovial lunch with the boss will help ensure our bonus this year.
Example usage (verb): We can leverage the knowledge gained from our white papers to solidify our position with the customer.
Notes: Leverage is a power word. Be sure to use the proper emphasis when saying "LEV-erage"!
Elegant Slacker Feature of the Week
"End of Year Performance Review Tips" Elegant Slacker presents these tips to Help you leverage what you haven't done this year to maximize your clout.
Elegant Slacker Weekly Time Killer
"The After Meeting" Each week ES presents the latest in time killing tactics, techniques and technologies. This week we present the "The After Meeting" time killer.
1. Attend a meeting
2. Situate yourself near fellow Elegant Slackers
3. Stay awake during meeting by nodding, an appearing interested
4. After meeting concludes, circle up with your nearby Elegant Slackers
5. Start a discussion about any topic, with care to leverage ES vocabulary peppered with terms used in the meeting
6. Continue discussion until everyone has left the meeting
7. Sustain discussion until enough time has been killed
Total time killed: ~15 minutes
Notes: The After Meeting has so many benefits beyond just killing time. Leadership will see how engaged you were by the material presented when they see you and your elegant friends in heated discussion. Killing time as part of a group spreads the risk of being accused of killing time. The best way to learn how to slack is to surround yourself with like minded elegant folks. The after meeting is a great place to exchange elegant slacker techniques and build trusted slack resources.
Meaning (noun): a proposition that is accepted as true in order to provide a basis for logical reasoning; postulate
Meaning (verb): put (something somewhere) firmly; 2: put before; submit; state; put forward; 3: take as a given; assume as a postulate or axiom
Example usage (noun): Your posit that all men are created equal is clearly flawed.
Example usage (verb): Once we posit ourselves as the supplier of choice, we can increase our profits through exploitive behaviour. I posit we improve our revenue stream by Q3.
Notes: When disagreeing with someone, the Elegant Slacker should never use negative contrary words. Typically the Elegant Slacker will suggest an alternative, hopefully one with high slack potential, and can use "posit" to help present the idea, no matter how half baked, in a manner that will garnish the most impressive nods. Word 2: Leverage (noun or verb)
Meaning (noun): strategic advantage; power to act effectively
Meaning (verb): supplement or provide with leverage
Example usage (noun): The leverage we gained through our jovial lunch with the boss will help ensure our bonus this year.
Example usage (verb): We can leverage the knowledge gained from our white papers to solidify our position with the customer.
Notes: Leverage is a power word. Be sure to use the proper emphasis when saying "LEV-erage"!
"End of Year Performance Review Tips" Elegant Slacker presents these tips to Help you leverage what you haven't done this year to maximize your clout.
- 0.001 Percent Rule: According to the US Patent Office, if an inventor adds even a marginal contribution to an patented invention, they must be named as an inventor with equal rights to all other inventors. Did you consult a coworker on key initiatives? Did you sit in on a briefing for this year's "golden child" project? If so, then you were part of that success! Claim it!
- Quantity over Quality: No manager wants to read through many pages, listing all your annual accomplishments. Make sure you word them positively, but more importantly, list as much as you can. Restate something in a different way, avoid using "and" to join efforts, and add in even the most trivial tasks (e.g. ordered supplies, fixed copier). See the comparison below of two employees who accomplished the same things in a given review period...or did they...
Joe Typical Elegant Slacker - Finished project xxx
- Holiday Office Party Coordinator
- Project xxx: successful completion of project xxx; successful execution of project xxx plan; designed plan for phase 1 of project xxx; implemented plan for phase 1 of project xxx; successful completion of project xxx phase 1; designed plan for phase 2 of project xxx; implemented plan for phase 2 of project xxx; successful completion of project xxx phase 2; contributor to phase 1 implementation; contributor to phase 2 implementation;
- Team Building: active participant in office social activities; Holiday Office Party leadership team; Holiday Office Party coordinator; coordinated Holiday Office Party; attended Holiday Office Party; coordinated safe transportation home for (insert manager's name here) and others; Holiday Office Party Break Down Team; logistical support for trash and environmental restoration team; etc. etc.
- Success even in failure: For an Elegant Slacker, all experiences are successful. Miss your sales goal? You had a competitive year. Late on assignments? You had competing opportunities to execute on. Too much time off? You weren't in the Bahamas, you were focusing on ways becoming more productive.
"The After Meeting" Each week ES presents the latest in time killing tactics, techniques and technologies. This week we present the "The After Meeting" time killer.
1. Attend a meeting
2. Situate yourself near fellow Elegant Slackers
3. Stay awake during meeting by nodding, an appearing interested
4. After meeting concludes, circle up with your nearby Elegant Slackers
5. Start a discussion about any topic, with care to leverage ES vocabulary peppered with terms used in the meeting
6. Continue discussion until everyone has left the meeting
7. Sustain discussion until enough time has been killed
Total time killed: ~15 minutes
Notes: The After Meeting has so many benefits beyond just killing time. Leadership will see how engaged you were by the material presented when they see you and your elegant friends in heated discussion. Killing time as part of a group spreads the risk of being accused of killing time. The best way to learn how to slack is to surround yourself with like minded elegant folks. The after meeting is a great place to exchange elegant slacker techniques and build trusted slack resources.
