Elegant Slacker Newsletter v.6
Welcome to yet another installment of Elegant Slacker Magazine.
We worked hard on this week's feature, the Elegant Stickers, so we're not up for much of an introduction. We'll let our work stand for itself. Keeping it simple...Sit back, relax and enjoy the slack.
Elegant Slacker Vocabulary Words for the Week
Word 1: dovetail (verb)
Meaning (v): to fit together, easily
Example usage (v): A low stress, low responsibility profession dovetails nicely with the goals and ambitions of an elegant slacker.
Notes: "Dovetail" is a real feel good word. For some reason, people love things that dovetail. Typically things will dovetail nicely or smoothly. Rarely should dovetailing be done in the negative. However, there can be question as to whether items will dovetail which should be iterated on and drilled into. (see previous issues for usage notes on iterate and drilldown, ed.) Word 2: stakeholder (noun)
Meaning (n): person of significance or importance; key player; one who has a interest or share in a situation
Example usage (n): The project has several stakeholders who will all be impacted by the outcome of this group's decision.
Notes: "Stakeholder" should not be confused with its homophonic sister phrase "steak holder." There is rarely meat connotations used in conjunction with the elegant form of stakeholder. An elegant slacker should strive to never be a stakeholder, but rather always be in the process of determining who the stakeholders are, or conferring with the stakeholders to understand their positions.
Elegant Slacker Feature of the Week
"Elegant Stickers" We all need encouragement as elegant slackers. Raising elegant slacker children is almost as hard as those new-fangled sudoku puzzles. To help our ES parents, we feature this week a series of printable stickers to help motivate the young and elegant. These also serve as elegant and simple reminders to the experienced ES to keep on "getting it done."
Elegant Slacker Weekly Time Killer
"Smoking" Not including the time off due to smoking related illnesses, smoking can be a great way to slack, albeit slightly less elegantly. The camaraderie built around the smoking urn is an unbreakable bond that transcends organizational charts and salary grades. The connection forged between custodians and CEOs are immediate and lasting when formed under the fire of the cigarette/cigarillo tip. 1. Purchase pack of cigarettes or cigarillos. Select a pack in the mid to upper price range to indicate a discerning, but not bourgeois, smoking habit.
2. Excuse yourself at any moment from any engagement
3. Walk to the designated smoking area, with deliberate but measured pace
4. Upon arrival at area, cordially greet any fellow smokers or non smokers in the area
5. Place tobacco product in your lips
6. Strike match or lighter
7. Ignite tip of tobacco product
8. Drag slowly savoring each elegant moment
9. Nod, laugh and otherwise blend in with any discussion going on. Do not offer any personal information/details/opinion/etc. Simply nod and laugh. Think elegantly.
10. Repeat steps 8-9 as long as tobacco product is still viable
11. On returning to workplace, stop in restrooms, wash as thoroughly as possible. If possible, a toothbrushing is also recommended.
12. Repeat steps 2-11 at most, once per hour worked.
Time killed: 15 minutes per break (possibly 2 hours per work day!) Notes: The most difficult part about this time killer is avoiding disdain from non smokers. For this reason, it is favorable to make your way to and from the designated smoking areas with caution and stealth.
Meaning (v): to fit together, easily
Example usage (v): A low stress, low responsibility profession dovetails nicely with the goals and ambitions of an elegant slacker.
Notes: "Dovetail" is a real feel good word. For some reason, people love things that dovetail. Typically things will dovetail nicely or smoothly. Rarely should dovetailing be done in the negative. However, there can be question as to whether items will dovetail which should be iterated on and drilled into. (see previous issues for usage notes on iterate and drilldown, ed.) Word 2: stakeholder (noun)
Meaning (n): person of significance or importance; key player; one who has a interest or share in a situation
Example usage (n): The project has several stakeholders who will all be impacted by the outcome of this group's decision.
Notes: "Stakeholder" should not be confused with its homophonic sister phrase "steak holder." There is rarely meat connotations used in conjunction with the elegant form of stakeholder. An elegant slacker should strive to never be a stakeholder, but rather always be in the process of determining who the stakeholders are, or conferring with the stakeholders to understand their positions.
"Elegant Stickers" We all need encouragement as elegant slackers. Raising elegant slacker children is almost as hard as those new-fangled sudoku puzzles. To help our ES parents, we feature this week a series of printable stickers to help motivate the young and elegant. These also serve as elegant and simple reminders to the experienced ES to keep on "getting it done."
"Smoking" Not including the time off due to smoking related illnesses, smoking can be a great way to slack, albeit slightly less elegantly. The camaraderie built around the smoking urn is an unbreakable bond that transcends organizational charts and salary grades. The connection forged between custodians and CEOs are immediate and lasting when formed under the fire of the cigarette/cigarillo tip. 1. Purchase pack of cigarettes or cigarillos. Select a pack in the mid to upper price range to indicate a discerning, but not bourgeois, smoking habit.
2. Excuse yourself at any moment from any engagement
3. Walk to the designated smoking area, with deliberate but measured pace
4. Upon arrival at area, cordially greet any fellow smokers or non smokers in the area
5. Place tobacco product in your lips
6. Strike match or lighter
7. Ignite tip of tobacco product
8. Drag slowly savoring each elegant moment
9. Nod, laugh and otherwise blend in with any discussion going on. Do not offer any personal information/details/opinion/etc. Simply nod and laugh. Think elegantly.
10. Repeat steps 8-9 as long as tobacco product is still viable
11. On returning to workplace, stop in restrooms, wash as thoroughly as possible. If possible, a toothbrushing is also recommended.
12. Repeat steps 2-11 at most, once per hour worked.
Time killed: 15 minutes per break (possibly 2 hours per work day!) Notes: The most difficult part about this time killer is avoiding disdain from non smokers. For this reason, it is favorable to make your way to and from the designated smoking areas with caution and stealth.
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