Elegant Slacker Newsletter v.4
Welcome to the fourth installment of Elegant Slacker Magazine. The response continues to amaze us and we are grateful for all the positive mail we've been getting. One fan writes:
"Thank you for making it okay to be an elegant slacker. For years I sat and did a thankless job, with more grace and style than anyone, and my deeds were never rewarded or reprimanded. You have shown me that my seemingly obscure existence is actually a vital part of today's society. Thank you Elegant Slacker! Keep 'em coming."
Thank you kind sir, thank you! This week, in addition to our weekly vocabulary enhancers, we'll sit down with Mann Lockererer who provided exclusive insights found in no other publication. Not to be outdone by the geniuses over at Google, Elegant Slacker Laboratories Inc, brings us their first, of what will hopefully be many, internet application. Sit back, relax and enjoy the slack.
Elegant Slacker Vocabulary Words for the Week
Word 1: synergy (noun); synergetic (adjective)
Meaning (n): the interaction of two or more agents or forces so that their combined effect is greater than the sum of their individual effects; cooperative interaction among groups, especially among the acquired subsidiaries or merged parts of a corporation, that creates an enhanced combined effect
Meaning (adj): having the properties of a synergy
Example usage (n): Your money plus my elegance are a natural synergy for success.
Example usage (adj): A synergetic relationship exists between elegance and slack that cannot be expressed using mathematical means.
Notes: When referencing any synergy, it is important to be a part of at least one element of the synergetic elements. A synergy can also be something that is in process, for example "exploring synergies." Word 2: concur (verb); concurrence (noun)
Meaning (v): to agree or be of the same opinion
Meaning (n): an agreement in opinion; cooperation
Example usage (v): Yes Boss, I completely concur with your assessment of the situation.
Example usage (n): We shouldn't start work until we have concurrence on the details of the plan.
Notes: When using the verb form, be sure to align yourself with the popular or least work intensive position. You may not concur with yourself. Concurrence is something that is being worked on, tried for, or arriving at, but never solidly achieved.
Elegant Slacker Feature of the Week
"Interview with an Elegant Slacker" This week Elegant Slacker sits down for an interview with renowned Elegant Slacker Mann Lockererer. Best known for his continuing work on slacking in the abstract, Mann talks about life, love and being elegant in this explosive face to face conversation!
Elegant Slacker Weekly Time Killer
"Earned Slack Value Calculator" Elegant Slacker Laboratories Inc presents their first functional calculator. This useful gadget will help you calculate your Earned Slack Value. If you're pondering a promotion, use this to figure out how you might need to adjust to keep your slacking steady. Find out how just a few extra minutes of slack a day can impact your overall value. Discover the importance of elegance as you improve your coefficient of elegance, see how your value can sky-rocket. How to use: 1. Select your approximate Organizational Position
2. Enter your average hours of slack per day
3. Enter your Coefficient of Elegance which is a decimal number between 0 and 1. 0 means you have no elegance, 1 means you are quintessentially elegant.
4. Click Calculate ESV
5. Read your Earned Slack Value
Meaning (n): the interaction of two or more agents or forces so that their combined effect is greater than the sum of their individual effects; cooperative interaction among groups, especially among the acquired subsidiaries or merged parts of a corporation, that creates an enhanced combined effect
Meaning (adj): having the properties of a synergy
Example usage (n): Your money plus my elegance are a natural synergy for success.
Example usage (adj): A synergetic relationship exists between elegance and slack that cannot be expressed using mathematical means.
Notes: When referencing any synergy, it is important to be a part of at least one element of the synergetic elements. A synergy can also be something that is in process, for example "exploring synergies." Word 2: concur (verb); concurrence (noun)
Meaning (v): to agree or be of the same opinion
Meaning (n): an agreement in opinion; cooperation
Example usage (v): Yes Boss, I completely concur with your assessment of the situation.
Example usage (n): We shouldn't start work until we have concurrence on the details of the plan.
Notes: When using the verb form, be sure to align yourself with the popular or least work intensive position. You may not concur with yourself. Concurrence is something that is being worked on, tried for, or arriving at, but never solidly achieved.
"Interview with an Elegant Slacker" This week Elegant Slacker sits down for an interview with renowned Elegant Slacker Mann Lockererer. Best known for his continuing work on slacking in the abstract, Mann talks about life, love and being elegant in this explosive face to face conversation!
| Elegant Slacker: | |
| If one wants to become an ES should s/he try to find an ES boss? | |
| Mann Lockererer: | |
| A colleague and I were discussing this very question yesterday. The Elegant Slacker is sort of a lone wolf. So, I am not sure it matters what kind of boss s/he has. | |
| Elegant Slacker: | |
| I ask because it seems to me that a lot of the Elegant Slackers that I encounter here at work appear to go "unchecked" by their boss for long periods of time. Case in point: one fellow on the team was told to "study our competitor's product." For three months (seriously!) he never left his office. Finally we were all in a meeting and the topic of what the competitor's product does came up and we looked at him and he just said "I don't know" and never skipped a beat or felt at all exposed. His boss, too, didn't feel like anything wrong had just occurred. | |
| Mann Lockererer: | |
| Probably an example of the 3rd point from last week's (v.3) issue. The elegant slacker has a feeling of higher power/authority, no need to answer to anyone. | |
| Elegant Slacker: | |
| Interesting...Changing topics, if an elegant slacker does work, and no one sees it, is the work really done? | |
| Mann Lockererer: | |
| Unfortunately the work is completed. Like the hands of time, work cannot be undone. Those precious minutes spent toiling are forever lost, never to know the bliss of slackdom. There is a finality to "done work" that implies an ending. "End" is such a negative word. Elegant Slackers should always be "starting," "getting on top of," "drilling down into," etc. All of these do not require any end product whereas to claim completed work is to have tangible evidence of what you've done, good bad or indifferent. | |
| Elegant Slacker: | |
| Whoa, that's deep. Should an elegant slacker keep a neat desk or a messy desk? | |
| Mann Lockererer: | |
| Neat desk or messy desk? Hmm...(pauses) I haven't been able to fully realize the virtues of either yet. I am working on a white paper which will drill down into the pros and cons of each. I'll do a very un-slackerish thing here and give you an off the cuff answer of it depends. If you have a desk that is purposefully and elegantly cluttered, it can give the impression of a person who is very busy. However, a clean organized desk leaves no remarkable items which may draw unwanted attention. I'll have to think about that more. | |
| Elegant Slacker: | |
| Does being a "yes man" include similar concepts as being an ES? People with opposing viewpoints tend to get challenged, questioned, tasked, etc. By being a "yes man" it seems as though you should be able to elegantly slack your way to the top? | |
| Mann Lockererer: | |
| I am not sure I see the situation in the same light. I think there is very little elegance in being a "yes man." | |
| Elegant Slacker: | |
| What if being a "yes man" is all just a ploy? Your Elegant Slacker strategy... | |
| Mann Lockererer: | |
| Perhaps you can use that as a quasi-ES strategy, but I don't think it adheres to the core principles of elegant slacking. As I see it, to be a "yes man" means you have to have a high profile...I am not sure an Elegant Slacker would even want to be in a position to agree to do anything. The essence of an Elegant Slacker is to make the most of what you don't do. | |
| Elegant Slacker: | |
| Just when I think I get it I get run over by the elegant bus! The amount of information I am trying to gather is too extreme! | |
| Mann Lockererer: | |
| You're close! Don't stress about it, slacking is a frame of mind. | |
| Elegant Slacker: | |
| I hear you are working on a new book "The Sounds of the Elegant Slacker?" Can you talk a little bit about what new slacker ground you'll be covering? | |
| Mann Lockererer: | |
| (laughs) How did you hear about that? Yeah, we are working on some new theories about slacking and the elegance associated therewith. You know, the workplace has a cornucopia of sounds that can be used for elegant slacking. Take the simple act of typing, for instance... | |
| Elegant Slacker: | |
| ...Typing implies productivity... | |
| Mann Lockererer: | |
| Right! So the louder and more furiously you can type, which is essentially making sounds | |
| Elegant Slacker: | |
| People will assume you are working! | |
| Mann Lockererer: | |
| Exactly! We've got our people clarifying the finer points and we'll be working out the details for a release later this year or next. | |
| Elegant Slacker: | |
| You can be sure we are looking forward to that! Thank you very much Mr. Lockererer for your time, we'll let you get back to what ever it is you pretend to do. We'll be pondering the exceptional embers of elegant enlightenment you've provided today for a time to come. Thanks for stopping by! | |
| Mann Lockererer: | |
| Thank you, Elegant Slacker! | |
"Earned Slack Value Calculator" Elegant Slacker Laboratories Inc presents their first functional calculator. This useful gadget will help you calculate your Earned Slack Value. If you're pondering a promotion, use this to figure out how you might need to adjust to keep your slacking steady. Find out how just a few extra minutes of slack a day can impact your overall value. Discover the importance of elegance as you improve your coefficient of elegance, see how your value can sky-rocket. How to use: 1. Select your approximate Organizational Position
2. Enter your average hours of slack per day
3. Enter your Coefficient of Elegance which is a decimal number between 0 and 1. 0 means you have no elegance, 1 means you are quintessentially elegant.
4. Click Calculate ESV
5. Read your Earned Slack Value
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